Navigating the emotions of significant event changes
November-December 2024
As children grow up and leave home, parents often experience a profound sense of loss. (photo by Spora Weddings via Pexels.com)
by Vanessa LaFaso Stolarski, Contributing Columnist
Life is a series of ebbs and flows, and while many of life’s changes can bring joy and excitement — the birth of a new family member, weddings, job promotions — others can leave us grappling with unexpected feelings of loss and grief.
Empty Nest Syndrome, for instance, is arguably the most well-known example of this phenomenon. As children grow up and leave home, parents often experience a profound sense of loss. The once-bustling household falls quiet, and the daily routines that once revolved around childcare and family life suddenly disappear. Parents may themselves begin to question their identity and purpose, struggling to adjust to their new reality.
Similarly, when family members or close friends move away, we may feel a deep sense of absence in our lives. The casual drop-ins, shared meals, long-distance calls, and infrequent visits replace impromptu gatherings that once filled our days. The shift can leave us feeling disconnected and longing for the closeness we once enjoyed.
Even positive changes, such as a loved one gaining independence after an illness, can trigger complex emotions. While we celebrate their progress, we may also grieve the loss of our caregiver role and the intimate bond it created.
So how do we cope? It’s important to be aware of those feelings and acknowledge that it’s normal and all part of the developmental life cycle. We’re mourning not just the missing physical presence of those we care about, but also our identities in the roles we played in their lives. It’s normal to feel a loss of purpose during these transitions. The key to navigating them lies in acknowledging our feelings and finding healthy coping methods.
EMBRACE THE GRIEF
Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that come with these changes. Recognize that grief is not just about death, but also about the loss of familiar patterns and roles. Journaling, talking with friends or seeking professional support can help you process these complex feelings.
As circumstances change, so too must our relationships evolve. (photo by Picyrl.com)
REDEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
As circumstances change, so too must our relationships evolve. Find new ways to connect with your adult children. Get to know them within their own new life stages rather than stay stuck in how you knew them as dependents or children. Talk to distant relatives about setting up a call schedule when you reserve time just for each other to catch up.
REDISCOVER YOURSELF
Use this transition as an opportunity for personal growth and development. Explore new hobbies, volunteer in your community, or pursue long-held dreams that you might have put on hold. This is a chance to reconnect with your interests and passions.
Remember, adapting to life’s changes takes time. Be patient with yourself as you navigate these emotional waters. As you work through your grief, you might find that these transitions open new doors to new experiences, new relationships and personal evolution.
As author Gail Sheehy once wrote: “If we don’t change, we don’t grow. And if we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.” By accepting the grief that comes with these transitions, we invite deeper connections, renewed purpose and a richer, more fulfilling life.
Vanessa LaFaso Stolarski is a certified nutrition counselor, weightlifting coach, life coach and stress-management specialist.
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