Who's Your Role Model?

by Dr. John E. Bonfadini, Ed.D., Professor Emeritus, George Mason University

Every time I hear about another professional athlete getting into legal trouble, I want to scream.

It�s not so much the law-breaking that bothers me � it�s the follow-up statements by analysts who claim that these individuals shouldn�t have done the illegal or immoral act because they are �role models for our youth.�

Professional athletics, like movies and other high-visibility entertainment occupations, will have their share of individuals who do things unacceptable to society. These folks break laws just like ordinary people. They have personal problems like ordinary people, and they live and die like the rest of us. They belong to the human race and, before we start referring to them as role models, let�s make sure they have earned the moniker by doing something really worthwhile. Making a lot of money or displaying great athletic skills are not reasons for a person to be considered a role model.

I would hope that every child�s role models would be mom and dad; but in the real world, that�s probably a bit naive. Kids look at what�s popular in society and naturally want to be part of that. I have a sweatshirt with words written on the front proclaiming I�m the world�s greatest grandfather. I know that�s not true, but my grandkids gave it to me so I wear it. I, like millions of other fans, also wear shirts that have the colors of my favorite sports teams and usually the number of some star player. I�m a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan and wear Steelers apparel a lot, especially since they have become winners. As a kid growing up in western Pennsylvania, I went to Steelers games when they seldom won. They even practiced at the college where I got my undergraduate degree, and a former Steelers� tight end named Val Jansentte was my high school football coach.

Two years ago I read an article in a sports magazine about the Steelers� Super Bowl MVP, Hines Ward, which included information about his ethnic background. He is both African-American and Asian. My adopted grandson Brandon is Asian, so I decided to make a collage of pictures that included Brandon, his grandmother, and Hines Ward making a Super Bowl catch.

Ward�s ability to overcome some of the problems associated with a multi-ethnic background, along with his work in helping Asian children, are traits I admire. I also like his work ethic. I sent the picture to the Steelers� front office and asked if they could forward it to Hines for a signature. I told him about my grandson and other family history that led to Brandon�s adoption, hoping that Ward would sign the picture. I�m pleased to say he did and it now hangs on a wall in Brandon�s home. I also have a copy hanging in my house. I thought about doing the same thing with Tiger Woods because of his ethnic background. But I just never sent the collage to Woods � somehow, I had the feeling he wouldn�t sign it. Now I�m glad I didn�t. Athletes, like movie stars, provide us with entertainment � period. Seldom do they earn the status of role model. Mr. Woods will realize it�s much easier to accumulate and keep money than it is to be a genuine role model.

Hanging on the wall next to me are pictures of myself and several politicians. I�m trying to figure out why I have their pictures on the wall. I guess I wanted to show others that I have a connection to the political community. I know it�s not because I think they are role models. Politicians seldom rise to the level of role model, although they should. The failure of a politician to reach role-model status is as much a reflection on the voter as the politician. There just aren�t many Honest Abes around. Our political system centers on money, and when money is involved, there is increased potential for mischief. You don�t have to look hard to find the bad in politics, so maybe it�s best to move in another direction when seeking role models.

Older people should be role models for our youth. Aging implies a certain level of maturity and by extension, respect; but age alone doesn�t automatically warrant role-model status. I�ve always told my children that just because someone is a senior citizen doesn�t mean you must respect them. Respect should be earned. I�ve also emphasized to my children that you shouldn�t show disrespect � offer common courtesy to seniors whenever you can. When each of us reaches senior status, let�s hope we will have gained the respect of our immediate family. Maybe then we can eliminate the need for some athlete to serve as a role model.

When I think of �role model,� a few individuals stand out: Martin Luther King, Jr., Billy Graham, Mother Theresa, and Pope John Paul II. Some in the sports community, like Arnold Palmer and Tony Dungy, also stand out. These individuals exhibited traits espoused in the Ten Commandments and, really, those 10 rules are all you need. All kids need to do is be able to recognize those good traits. Role models are individuals who live in various environments displaying those traits over an extended period of time.

As a society we expect people in some professions � such as teachers, doctors, law-enforcement officers, clergy and nurses, to name a few � to display those valued traits. Politicians and lawyers should be in that category but ... I�ll let you finish the sentence.

As for entertainers and athletes, enjoy what they do and admire the money they make, just don�t elevate them as role models. The description �role model� should require the individual to exhibit the highest standards of human behavior.

It would be a much better world if all moms and dads met these �role model� standards. This grandpap still needs a little fine tuning.